Glacial aretes above I-80.
If this is purgatory, it’s beautiful.
And it is. I still have full cell phone coverage. I’m embraced in the bosom of the wilderness and yet the technology of human haste thrums through this valley in cars trains and wireless bandwidths carrying the same almost entirely inane soup of commerce and desire that we are constantly bathed in in the Bay Area. And here I am blogging you on my mini super computer.
I came here to heal. This is the perfect place to heal. Purge-atory. I can feel my desperation to get away from all this hectic day to day rhythm and just live simply wandering through the woods. I feel my desperate longing for a different, better life than I have.
Yet this is my life. And I LOVE my life! Unease and all. I am here, energy socketed into the granite rock at my back and the dirt under my butt, including you, inviting you into my process of accepting life exactly how it is, especially during excruciating moments of discomfort. If I can’t be present for those moments that come to me when I’m alone looking at my life from a distance, nobody else can, and I will spend the rest of my life running away from precisely those thoughts and feelings.
I’m weary of feeling ashamed of who and what I am. I don’t buy the story that I am weak and alone. I have absolute control over only one thing: I can accept my life completely, in every moment, exactly as it is. Bizarrely, absolute surrender to what is makes me a whole and powerful man.
I declare that I am healed. Because I can accept anything. Even death If he wants me now.
All of this is nature. Including this fascinating, frustrating, addictive little device allowing me direct access to group consciousness in the form of Facebook and the Internet.
You know, if I feel into the earth through the rock under my feet, I can feel you all and all of life more directly, more transparently, far more completely than through this machine.
So I accept both. I accept my deep connection to my wildness in Nature. I accept that the mass insanity we live in now is a necessary evolutionary pressure to wake the f%#& up as a single unified consciousness, and realize that we are just the sense organs of the beautiful being known as Gaia. THEN we’ll know how to take care of ourselves because we will realize that absolutely everything and everyone IS us.
I accept that I love you, because I love this life however it comes. Because I love me, including all my immature and unsavory habits.
Done with this. Leaving you with an invitation:
Feel me, feel all of life. Through your feet. In Nature. As often as you possibly can. It just might help you, and all of us accept that life is taking us on a ride and we CAN trust it. Fortunately Gaia is vastly more intelligent than we are! She always has us connected on the inner-net. If we tune her in we can tell that we actually already are awake. It’s just changing the channel!!!