My Journey

Healing, Humanity, My Journey, Spirituality

First month on Maui: The Outside is the Inside is the Outside


You know the joke about the monk that gave the hot dog vendor $20 to “make him one with everything” and when asking for his change, was told “change comes from within?”

Maui is a volcano 15 miles from the most active “hot spot” on planet earth where lava continuously pours out of the depths of the earth to create new land. It’s the second Island in the tallest chain of mountains on Earth (measured from the sea-floor) in the middle of the largest expanse of Ocean. You could say the Hawaiian Islands are the “navel” of the Earth. The inside of the planet is always becoming the outside, more obviously here than on the continents.

Getting to and being on Maui has been a truly volcanic process, and the joke is on me. Any and all discrepancies and incongruities in the way I want to live and the way I actually live are in my face.

Despite Bren and I doing our absolute best to make letting go of California life a smooth transition, we both got stressed beyond our limits and got sick. The only thing more stressful I have ever done was help my wife die.

Nonetheless, we pulled it off and arrived at a beautiful, affordable RV with deck in a garden setting filled with birds, 4 minutes from the beach and 6 minutes from the most masterful bodyworker either of us have ever experienced. We bathed in the warm ocean and whale song, received transformational body healing, gorged on pineapple, papaya, passion fruit and amazing fish tacos and began to feel like we really did land in paradise!

Not so fast! We’d never lived in an RV so when it was a little smelly, we thought “well, no big deal, now we know we don’t want to live in an RV!” Then one night we came home from an amazing double healing session, feeling the best we had felt so far, and had to close all the windows because it was raining hard. And the RV stank. It was so bad we had to turn on all the fans just to be able to breathe enough to sleep. It was like sleeping in the last row of seats in a jet next to the engines and the toilets. We felt poisoned and betrayed and like we might get sick all over again.

Our landlords were mystified, said it had never been that bad for them, tried all sorts of deodorizers and pumped the tank but nothing worked. It wasn’t until I crawled under the RV naked and discovered a kloodgied grey water drain pipe was holding stagnant water and belching swamp gas back into the RV that I was able to create a proper angle to allow the water to drain and 90% of the stench cleared.

Another day Bren and I are waiting outside the port office to have a tow truck take her car to the mechanic shop. (Turns out the dock workers in California had killed both batteries in her electric car somehow, probably by leaving the key in for weeks). I started to complain about the petty tyrant that guarded the gate and had imperiously ordered us to “go away and come back at 1pm sharp.” At 1:03 the tow truck driver shows up and I go to start my car and it won’t start. It’s never done that once in 17 years. And it won’t start until Bren says “beg for mercy!” Boom, starts right up and has never been a problem again.

Here’s what I feel is really going on: We came here to live our dreams into reality and to share our process so others can see it is possible for them to do the same. We came here to start over and let go of all our old stories and our attachments to our tension and resentments about what appears to be “other peoples” negligence, stupidity, obstruction and unfairness. Any way I tell myself an old story that I am oppressed by anyone or any circumstance will IMMMEDIATELY become “truth” here until I see it as myself creating that “reality.”

If my dream is to live in harmony and abundance with the land, plants, animals and my neighbors, then that very intention will bring up every old attachment I have to my fear based stories of lack and oppression until I see that I am the source of creating my life that way. There is no “slack” here. You live your dreams or your nightmares. Fortunately, as soon as I see that, the good magic I came looking for starts to happen again.

Of course it takes time. The RV still smells. Bren’s car will be fixed with a new battery because it was still under warranty so it will be like a new car!……Life is a messy process and I can feel how living here is graduate school in how to live life. Every day brings new challenges and new gifts. Aloha spirit is a daily spiritual practice!!

Torus Photo courtesy of Rick Russell; Mathematical Creations

Healing, Humanity, My Journey, Spirituality

Difficult Roads Often Lead to Beautiful Destinations


About a month ago, after I helped Bren through a difficult transition, she said “how do you always manage to get me through the eye of the needle like that?” Then and there, I realized that she had re-branded my practice!

So today the Sun was activating the 61st Gene Key “Inner Truth” (psychosis, Inspiration, Sanctity) in the 6th line (separation/self care/nature) and I took my psychotic Acupuncture exams on the windowless 7th floor of an office building with 5000 cars in the parking lot and 2 empty spaces to park in. To get in you have to get your palms and face photographed, have two forms of ID, turn out your pockets, roll up your sleeves and pull up your pant legs and put all your stuff except your ID and glasses in a locker. If you take a break, you have to do it all over again.

The 61 is a hexagram of the classic “Book of Changes” known as the “I Ching”, it’s the first one shown above. You’ll notice it’s “eye” is half as large as the second one.

I took the nearest locker which happened to be 27 and sat in booth number 27 for both exams.

The 27th Hexagram: “nourishment” (selfishness, altruism, Selflessness) is about generosity, starting with yourself. It’s “eye” is twice as large as the 61.

So I hope I have passed through the eyes of the two needles in the 64 hexagrams after a year of turning myself inside out to meet the requirements of the Hawaii state acupuncture board.

This last month of studying while trying to wrap up 42 years of living in the Bay Area and taking the test just 5 days before I leave because…well…it just worked out that way…

Was psychotic.

But perhaps now, I am a more humble and durable servant of the greater good? Perhaps I am sharper, wiser and have learned what keeping your equilibrium in the face of corruption really is.

50 “the cauldron” “gate of values” (corruption, equilibrium, Harmony) is my personal “evolution”. Through learning to trust in the essential goodness of all people, I am “designed” to function as an agent of social equilibrium. Corruption is transcribing the genetic need for social agreements through the lens of fear, which always results in (inadequate and often inappropriate) laws and outlaws. Trust in each other is the only path to social equilibrium.

And,

I’m 61.

Time I matured? Does an innocent ever mature?

Hopefully I’ll be able to contribute to the people of the islands like I’ve never done anywhere else before.

May it be so.